Sunday, September 30, 2012

Where I Come From- Strong Personalities

Journal Entry written by Mom Payne
April 24, 1987

"Tyler I think will be my challenge in life. He is definitely the most strong willed of all our kids. He's presently 3 and he thinks he doesn't have to answer to anyone for anything. He figures he can get food anytime. Go out and play without telling anyone. Wonder off at stores or parks- he's definitely independent!

Frankly I very much dislike writing in my journal, but Glen requested I write down the following episode I had with Tyler so I could laugh about it someday- that is what motivated me today to take pen in hand and catch up a little.

Just after the kids left for school at about 7:30 Tyler was still at the table with his bowl of chex cereal. He said he was full, but I hated to throw away a full bowl so I told him he needed to eat 3 more bites. He said he didn't want to, took his full bowl and dumped it upside down on the table. Milk flowed to the crack and onto the floor along with all over the table. I decided I would try and use natural consequences instead of spanking so I very calmly told him he would have to clean it up. After a couple of minutes of no response I went over and took his hand and helped him grab a handful of soggy cereal and put it back in his bowl. I could see it was going to take a long time and he would enjoy the attention so I told him to finish it- No response. Except a look of defiance. So I said he would have to sit there until it was done. 

About 30 minutes later he got down and went to hide so I picked him up, set him in the chair and told him if he got down again I would have to get a belt and strap him to the chair. Ten minutes later I followed through with that episodes  however, he couldn't reach the cereal which by now he had thrown on a couple of chairs, half way across the table, and on the floor. He asked if I would please take the belt off him and I agreed if he would clean it up so he said he would. He picked the cereal off the table and said he was all done. I explained that now he needed to clean up the floor and chairs.

He then laid on the living room carpet next to the mess and did nothing. After a couple of minutes I went over sat him up and told very very firmly to clean it up NOW.

He just glared at me as if to say, "I dare you to try and make me." I began to count to three- which of course means do it or else! Except I usually inform then in advance what the or else was- but since I as yet was trying not to spank him. I didn't know what the or else was. So I said "1-2-3", he then picked up a piece of cereal, thought about it and a few seconds later, threw it in my face. I was completely stunned. 

Never have I faced such defiance in any of my own children. I was completely calm and had not lost my temper- which I must admit I think was pretty good. I very calmly took him by the hand, picked up the blet I had used in strapping him to the chair and led the lamb to the slaughter. We went to my room and I pulled down his pants, laid him on my bed and for the 1st time in my life I used a belt. I actually spanked him harder with my hand, but somehow the thought of the belt puts a chill in the air. His bottom wasn't even red, but boy was he ever upset. I told him to go clean up the mess NOW and boy did he ever hustle in there and finish up the job. Even though it took over an hour I think he learned more than if I had just spanked him to begin with- at least I know I will remember the experience for a long time.

Regardless of his strong personality, Tyler has been our most lovable child. He has successfully trained me to lay by him every day at naptime by his sweet actions. He cuddles up to me, wraps an arm around my neck, lay on my shoulder, or rubs my back. It is a time of day we both usually enjoy. He tells me I'm pretty and even notices when I get dressed up. He's affectionate to everyone and you can always count on a hug or kiss from him when you want one. 

Tyler also had a very large imagination and for several months was seldom Tyler, he was either superman, a dog, or a Daddy."

So that's were those two turkeys get it from. okay, okay... I guess Tyler can't take all the heat.
Strong personalities. Gotta love 'em. 


Sutherland Family said...

Yep, you're in trouble!

Unknown said...

Haha that's a great story... I'm glad she wrote it down.