Sunday, January 29, 2017

Donuts,Cookies...... and Spaghetti!

Jake just want's people food. 
He has started to cry as soon as the baby food comes out.
Oh dear! hahaha!
I get my camera out ready to catch those smiles and boy are they hard!!! There's about 100 other photos of the ones you see below. He does NOT like to be interrupted when he's eating.
 haha.
 photo DSC_7006_zpsuzgdynvj.jpg
The whole family gets involved! Hootin and howlerin!
Jake Jake Jake!!! Is that a yummy cookie?!?!?
 photo DSC_7027_zpsrj5fjli3.jpg
Pretty sure he likes it... hehe...
 photo DSC_7000_zpss0fdxvhw.jpg
So handsome!
 photo DSC_7052_zpslsm9frbr.jpg
On Saturdays if they kiddos are lucky we get them donuts.
It's heaven every time! 
I get lost in those eyes of his...
 photo Jake_zpspaadlmcd.jpg
My little thumb sucker...
 photo Jake1_zpsfwhh4foi.jpg
Spaghetti night this week was EPIC. 
The kid wouldn't stop crying until finally we realized he wanted the spaghetti. 
We plopped some on this tray and BAM! Now more crying. All business.
 photo DSC_8731_zpsjghd3fkd.jpg
I kept trying to get his attention for a picture...
NO MOM! 
Can't you see I'm busy???????
hahahahaha!
 photo DSC_8743_zpsd48wnt4q.jpg
Oh this baby boy. I love him.
I love him with cookies stuck down in his diaper, donut guts on this tummy, and spaghetti all over his face! I just LOVE HIM. I love this messy phase. It's the best. 
And we take a lot of baths. :) 
 photo DSC_8766_zpsv3vbyeda.jpg

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Lukeman is THREE!

Three... three years old... that still counts as a baby right? 
I'm saying yes. 
Okay, life can continue now. hehe

Luke turned 3 back in October. 
We keep birthdays simple around here... I mean we celebrate for sure, 
but we don't normally do big parties. 
We took the kids to the Big Top candy store down in Austin.
Super cool joint! Tons of old fashioned candies and lots of charm.
The kids had a blast choosing there poison. 
 photo blog12_zpsu63dycrv.jpg
Then I thought to myself... Luke is 3, Jake is 6 months... PICTURE TIME.
Let's get them dressed all cute and go to the park! 
So we did.
And NO ONE could get Jake to look at the camera.
Seriously Mom, dirt is so cool!
 photo blog_zpsb7dpv6fm.jpg
Dirt, grass, rocks... so much to do!!!
{as Mom continues to tell everyone to get out of the shot and try and get Jakes attention... no go}
 photo blog10_zpscmwjzley.jpg
Oh well, he's still fun to take pictures of even if he won't look... 
so bald! so chubby! so YUMMY! 
I just love him to pieces.
 photo blog9_zpsp0ewxlyq.jpg
LUKEMAN!!!!!!!!!
Bright, beautiful, HAPPY BOY! 
Luke is happy 99% of the time. 
He loves cars.
His favorite color?? Ask him and he'll say cars.
Favorite food... also cars
Hey Luke, what did you do today?... you guessed it- cars. 
He cuddles me in the morning and won't let me leave his side after nap time. 
Seriously, I try to get up and he lays across my lap and holds me down. haha! 
And I love it.
 photo blog8_zpsjnqrj3mm.jpg
Those cheeks! 
And baby fingers. 
Seriously, I can't believe how much he has changed already. And I can't believe how sad that makes me feel! JEEZ.
 photo blog11_zps6flzhazv.jpg
Something about Luke that astounds me is his kindness. He has a kind heart like I've never seen.
He notices when people are sad and will try to help them. He is the best big brother EVER.
His love for Jake is seriously amazing. 
He hugs the girls when get home from school. (And is also super relieved when they leave for the day and he gets me all to himself... and jake of course) haha!
 photo blog6_zpsulmiwbua.jpg
Luke is also ALLLLL BOY. 
Cars. Balls. Guns. Dogs. Bugs.... and all his favorite things. 
He fights with his Daddy like the girls never did. It's crazy. And my girls can fight. 
He loves sprite, vanilla ice cream, chicken nuggets, pancakes... and all candy. 
 photo blog7_zpschcwd8vr.jpg
There's those eyes! Still not looking- but good enough .
I love this picture so much. 
Especially those dark eyes and that little bit of drool on his chin. {sigh...}
 photo Blog5_zpsv9wwmdhc.jpg
I see you Luke!!! And I caught that smile!!! 
 photo blog4_zpscs8qulz1.jpg
My boy... so handsome! Golly! 
 photo blog3_zpscwchesyh.jpg
Of course the birthday wouldn't be complete with a car cake that is CHOCOLATE! 
 photo blog2_zpsgaz4jwoz.jpg
Happy BIRTHDAY my Lukeman! I love you more than you'll ever know!
And you can stay three forever if you want. I won't mind.
Love,
Mommy
 photo blog1_zps1nsv6zyb.jpg

Sunday, January 15, 2017

My Whole World

I turn 30 this year. 
I don't know why but it's been on my mind lately. 30 years old. 
I feel like I'm turning a page on an era of my life that I will never get back. A time of creating and growing a family. As I look back on the past 8 years I can't help but think- I DID IT! 
I did it.
I had four beautiful babies. 
And they are my whole entire world.
 photo Payne_012_zpsaa33szdn.jpg
I love being a Mom. 
I love everything about it. 
Even wiping butts.
Yep, I said it. Believe it or don't believe it. 
But those BUTTS are mine! My babies.
And I love those butts. Especially after bath time. :)
 photo Payne_008_zpsreffxgr6.jpg
I spend many hours a day cuddling and holding babies. 
If I could get credit for it on my activity app I'd be in outstanding shape! haha.
I love how much my children love me and need me. 
They make we what to be more... more grateful, more loving, more kind, more strong... just MORE.
 photo Payne_102_zpshldq7zii.jpg
When I hear Jake start to cry from waking up from his nap my heart jumps! 
He's UP! 
Time to kiss that fuzzy baby head.
Over and over and over again.
It's a wonder he still has hair.
 photo Payne_099_zpszhlq9fkp.jpg
My babies make me feel complete.
Like the world keeps spinning and time marches on...
but these babies... these babies right here... they are all that matter.
 photo Payne_094_zpszqs6delz.jpg
Rachel's determined strength and will to be better every day inspires me.
Maggie's fierce ability to take a hit and get up and keep going with a big ole' smile makes me strong.
Luke's playful and kind spirit makes my heart keep pumping.
And Jake... oh Jake... his smile makes my day. Every day.  
 photo Payne_090_zpsnqmvff0d.jpg
Guys, I had four babies.
To some thats no big deal. 
But for me... it's my greatest accomplishment.
No marathon, competition, PR, skill, talent, or money will EVER surpass this. 
I had four babies.
And they are mine. 
They are mine.
 photo Payne_086_zpsdotkwi3y.jpg
Every night when I'm finished nursing Jake I rest his head on my breast and cuddle him tight.
This is my time to pray to my Heavenly Father for the day.
This prayer always includes... "Thank you so much for giving me these sweet babies! Help me be the Mom they deserve."
 photo Payne_083_zpsuj4kwrqn.jpg
"I want to share my life with them for all eternity."
 photo Payne_081_zpsiarn6jl1.jpg
I have many insecurities that I won't go into. I'd say we all do.
But for some reason when I'm holding my babies they all fade away.
I am strong. I am Mama Bear. 
Hear me roar.
 photo Payne_074_zps4d8o1tyf.jpg
Forever and always---
Mama is my name.
 photo Payne_072_zpsuitxilgk.jpg
With a c-section scar, stretch marks, tired eyes, and gained weight... 
I've never felt more beautiful than I do when I look at this picture.
 photo Payne_068_zpsublurgtv.jpg
Believe it or don't believe it...
I knew Rachel was a Rachel Lynn. I knew she'd be just like me. I knew she'd have dark hair and dark eyes.
I knew Maggie was a Maggie Ila. I knew she'd be my peace. I knew she'd have blonde hair and blue eyes.
I knew Luke was a Luke William. I knew he'd be just like his Daddy. I knew he'd have blonde hair and blue eyes.
I knew Jake was my Jake Micheal. I knew he'd take after me (a little more than the middle two). I knew he'd have dark hair and dark eyes.
Ask Tyler.
I called it every time.
Each of my babies visited me in spirt and in dreams before they came to earth.
They picked me. And I picked them.
This I know.
 photo Payne_069_zpskk1tnazy.jpg
This crazy life is far from perfect.
Actually I take that back.
It's imperfectly perfect in every way.
 photo Payne_062_zpsgcieruhk.jpg
They make me happy.
 photo Payne_063_zpsiqmvd3gz.jpg
Look at what we created!!!! hahahaha!
The messiest creatures I've ever encountered! 
And the cutest.
 photo Payne_061_zpsw7o0gha9.jpg
Yep. They are mine.  
All mine.
 photo Payne_054_zps0isusvd4.jpg
Tyler and I's motto in the hard, messy times...
just keep loving each other.
Things will work out.
 photo Payne_051_zps3ophtlwb.jpg
I remember dreaming and thinking of my future family as a young woman. 
I wondered how many kids I would have... what they would look like and how awesome they would be.
I never in my wildest dreams could have dreamed up something this beautiful.
 photo Payne_046_zpsrvd8kjbk.jpg
My rock.
My support.
My laughter.
My reason.
My man.
 photo Payne_037_zpss4yv1f5u.jpg
My boys fill a hole in my heart I never knew I had. 
Baby boys where made for Mama bears.
 photo Payne_032_zpsbm4fecwc.jpg
When I look back on my twenties I think... holy smokes! How did I do that???
And I'll tell you how! 
Prayers, cuddles, cherry cokes, long runs, good friends, family, baby kisses, bedtime stories, movie nights, fun trips, dark chocolate, lifting weights, MY MAN!... and so much more! 
I did it. And this is only the beginning.
 photo Payne_024_zpsgvs1r83n.jpg
"Hey Jess, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
...
...
...
"A MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just want to be a Mom.
I want to be Rachel's, Maggie's, Luke's, and Jake's MOM! 
I just want to be a MOM.
Thank you Heavenly Father and Tyler Payne for making me a Mama.
It's all I've never knew I've ever wanted.
 photo Payne_021_zpsick2pd7t.jpg

Sunday, January 8, 2017

What Daddies Do Best

Boys need to be roughed up.
They just do. 
They long for it and hope for it! It's the main event of the day!
 photo DSC_4961_zpscsfomkzx.jpg
As soon as Tyler gets home Jake starts yelling and excitingly looking for Daddy...
 photo DSC_4962_zpsf2y7tdo7.jpg
Those Jake eyes...
 photo DSC_4973_zps1xvuoc3u.jpg
I may be good at cuddling and kissing owies... but I will NEVER surpass Daddy's wrestling and fighting skills.
 photo DSC_4974_zpslnjzezss.jpg
I just love this picture.
He loves his Daddy.
 photo DSC_4975_zpsqlh6eiww.jpg
MMMmmmmmm.... Babies taste so good.
 photo DSC_4976_zpsa8xhpvnw.jpg