poop

Yeah, you heard me. I said poop.

Tyler called me tonight, like he normally does before he goes to bed.  He asked me what the girls and I did today. So I told him... We went to the grocery store, did some garage saling, took naps, went to the park after nap-time and on the way home I got some McDonald's for the girls.  {don't judge! You know I'm going to be keeping it real here on this blog... I don't care who you are, those chicken nuggets are good. We even ate outside to avoid the clean-up. haha} Anyway, then he asked, "What are you doing now? What's that noise?"  

Well, I'll tell you honey- I'm scrubbing poop out of the tub.

(He laughed through this entire conversation and told me I had to write it down.  Here's hoping it's that hilarious in print.)

I took Miss Maggie out of the tub first.  As I set her down to go get a diaper I hear a disgusting swishy sounding splat on the floor.  Without hesitation, I push Maggie out of the way and wipe up the poop before she has a chance to play in it.  {If you can't already tell, I've dealt with this before} Maggie is highly offended that I won't let her play in her poop and starts wailing on the floor.

     

Then I hear a shreek from the bathroom.  And the shreek kept saying, "Ewwww Mommy, I pooped! Get it off me!" 

Oh dear, seriously?  Did you girls plan this?

I walk in.  Sure enough there's Rachel with poop all down her legs and a giant terd on the bathtub floor.

*I am frustrated at this point. The Mommy frustrated voice begins.*

  "Rachel, the potty is right there! What were you thinking? You never poop in the bathtub! That is a big NO-NO! Repeat after me, I will never poop in the bathtub! (she repeats after me)"

Then I grab her and lay her on the floor, getting poop all over the bathroom rug on the way down. {jeez, you'd think I've dealt with this before} 

As I'm getting Rachel cleaned up, Maggie tottles in, sees the poop and immediately makes a v-line for the poop. What is it with this girl and poop? She certainly doesn't get this excited about mud.  I knock her down. Again.  She gets offended and cries. Again.  I finally get a diaper on Rachel and kick both of them out the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. 

As I'm tending to the giant terd in the bathtub, Rachel comes in the other door through my bedroom with little offended Maggie tailing her. Rachel exclaims, "Mommy I need a hug!" I shout back, "NO, you NEED to poop in the potty!" {yes, my 2 year old isn't potty trained yet.  Once again, don't judge}

Ah, I finally flush the giant terd down the toilet and wipe up the remains with little Maggie clinging to my leg.

Breathe. Don't forget to breathe.This is one of those moments where I'm thinking... "Where's my dang husband when I need him?" haha. Oh well, the tub needed a good scrubbing anyway. 

Funny part is- This sort of thing really isn't all that uncommon.  It's life. 

I said I went to the grocery store today- if only I could explain all the things that happened in-between. Sometimes people will ask me, "So what have you been up these days?"  I reply, "Oh you know taking care of these girls." Whether they say it or not a "that's all?" look follows.  

If only they knew what happened in-between.

(aren't you glad that I didn't include pictures in this one? hehe)