Friday, October 14, 2011

poop

Yeah, you heard me. I said poop.

Tyler called me tonight, like he normally does before he goes to bed.  He asked me what the girls and I did today. So I told him... We went to the grocery store, did some garage saling, took naps, went to the park after nap-time and on the way home I got some McDonald's for the girls.  {don't judge! You know I'm going to be keeping it real here on this blog... I don't care who you are, those chicken nuggets are good. We even ate outside to avoid the clean-up. haha} Anyway, then he asked, "What are you doing now? What's that noise?"  
Well, I'll tell you honey- I'm scrubbing poop out of the tub.
(He laughed through this entire conversation and told me I had to write it down.  Here's hoping it's that hilarious in print.)

I took Miss Maggie out of the tub first.  As I set her down to go get a diaper I hear a disgusting swishy sounding splat on the floor.  Without hesitation, I push Maggie out of the way and wipe up the poop before she has a chance to play in it.  {If you can't already tell, I've dealt with this before} Maggie is highly offended that I won't let her play in her poop and starts wailing on the floor.
     
Then I hear a shreek from the bathroom.  And the shreek kept saying, "Ewwww Mommy, I pooped! Get it off me!" 

Oh dear, seriously?  Did you girls plan this?

I walk in.  Sure enough there's Rachel with poop all down her legs and a giant terd on the bathtub floor.

*I am frustrated at this point. The Mommy frustrated voice begins.*

  "Rachel, the potty is right there! What were you thinking? You never poop in the bathtub! That is a big NO-NO! Repeat after me, I will never poop in the bathtub! (she repeats after me)"


Then I grab her and lay her on the floor, getting poop all over the bathroom rug on the way down. {jeez, you'd think I've dealt with this before} 

As I'm getting Rachel cleaned up, Maggie tottles in, sees the poop and immediately makes a v-line for the poop. What is it with this girl and poop? She certainly doesn't get this excited about mud.  I knock her down. Again.  She gets offended and cries. Again.  I finally get a diaper on Rachel and kick both of them out the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. 

As I'm tending to the giant terd in the bathtub, Rachel comes in the other door through my bedroom with little offended Maggie tailing her. Rachel exclaims, "Mommy I need a hug!" I shout back, "NO, you NEED to poop in the potty!" {yes, my 2 year old isn't potty trained yet.  Once again, don't judge}
Ah, I finally flush the giant terd down the toilet and wipe up the remains with little Maggie clinging to my leg.

Breathe. Don't forget to breathe.This is one of those moments where I'm thinking... "Where's my dang husband when I need him?" haha. Oh well, the tub needed a good scrubbing anyway. 

Funny part is- This sort of thing really isn't all that uncommon.  It's life. 
I said I went to the grocery store today- if only I could explain all the things that happened in-between. Sometimes people will ask me, "So what have you been up these days?"  I reply, "Oh you know taking care of these girls." Whether they say it or not a "that's all?" look follows.  

If only they knew what happened in-between.


(aren't you glad that I didn't include pictures in this one? hehe)    

10 comments:

Nathan and Holly Larson said...

That story is definitely worth writing down! Poor mama! :) Maybe tomorrow will be a better day!!

Kathleen said...

Don't you just love motherhood. I don't even know how many times I've had those moments where so much goes wrong at the same time that you have to laugh at how ridiculous life is because if you don't laugh, you might cry!

Shelley Smith said...

I think we've all been there!

Sutherland Family said...

What cracks me up about your story, and what you inferred is that MOST of the time, every hour, there is a story similar to this! Well, it's not always about poop, but it's about something illogical to us adults! A simple thing like getting them out of the car, or walking into McDonalds...I can imagine anything that could have happened! Oh, the joys!

Josh and Jill said...

Michael did the same thing this week. I'm glad it was only one mess! Things like this always make me think of my hubby too!!! Ha ha!
Good luck!!!

Heather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heather said...

Oh yikes... I have a feeling this is not something I'm looking forward to but will come eventually. You seem to have handled it well! And "taking care of these two" should definitely not be followed with an "is that all?" look. I only have one and all the in-betweens get me... I can't imagine with two. You're doing great with them Jessica! Keep it up!

Oh and to answer your question we're coming to Texas on the 21st, but will be in Elkhart for the first bit and then in Mansfield. So maybe about the 26th?

Caitlin (& Billy) said...

hahaha Jessica this totally reminded me of one time when I was babysitting Jayce (this was like less than 2 years ago, so he was 4 or 5 years old...yikes) and we were at the park and he pooped all over his underwear, pants, everything. and i made him stay standing up in the car and had to clean him all up when we got home. needless to say it made me not want kids. ever. but i seem to have forgotten those feelings because your blog also makes me crazy baby hungry! :) haha love ya!

Mary Anne said...

OH. MY. This just had me laughing out loud! Thanks for the laugh! But really, I'm sorry. I'd say you handled it pretty well. I would have lost it! Gotta love all the "in between" stuff of life.

Jeni said...

Too cute!!! BTW, people who give you the "that's all look" are seriously missing out. They will never experience the joy, of being with their babies all time.

Love you Jess!!