Wednesday, September 4, 2013

While She Sleeps

Before I begin let me make a few things completely clear. I absolutely and wholeheartedly love my crazy, spunky, determined, beauitful, happy children! I know that I am making the right desicion for my family by staying home with my kids. Each and every day I thank the Lord for two (almost three!) beautiful children. I know that they are children of God! And being a Mom is FUN and REWARDING in so many ways!
Okay, now that all that has been said I also want to say just how challenging being a mother can be. In particular knowing what is best for my children. I remember quite clearly scoffing at young women that "couldn't wait" to be mothers thinking, "why are they in such a hurry? what in the world is so great about looking after kids all day?". I also remember sitting in sacrament meeting watching what I thought were "terrible, misbehaved" kids thinking, "why are those parents not spanking those little terrors for behaving that way?" Quite frankly, I was wrong. Dead wrong about a lot things. The older I get the more I realize just how wrong I am! haha!
Truthfully though when looking back at what I thought about parenting, and thinking of all I have learned up to this point I've realized that it will never get easier. Sounds awful, but it's the truth. Another happy truth is that although it will never get easier, I will get better and stronger at being a Mother. And that is a wonderful thing.
Something my Dad taught me long ago was to not worry about what other people think. "Red sock, Blue sock" he'd say, informing me that even if I had two different colors of socks on that I should rock the look and simply not let what people say get to me. This is a lesson that I am always learning, relearning, and learning some more. Recently in regards to Motherhood this has been challenging. One of the worst things I do is not only compare myself to other Mommies, but compare my children with theirs. It is the worst! And it never leaves me with happy thoughts about myself or my children!
I talk that I turn to for peace on the subject in from Elder Ballards conference talk entitled, "Daughters of God" from 2008. He says,
"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children.What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."
That quote has always resonated in my heart inparticularly when I see other Mothers with their kiddos and think that I'm just not good enough, that my kids just aren't well behaved enough, and that I am failing at this whole "nurturing" mother bit. Because all of those things simply aren't true. All of us Mother's get judged by how are children are. Whether if it's during a boxing match in one of those race-car carts at HEB or if it's bringing our children out to the foyer for a little "talkin-to" during church. People notice and people judge. Red sock, blue sock.
Yep, Red sock blue sock.
After a hard day at church I took this picture of Rachel while she slept.  photo DSC_6183_zpsf31db859.jpg
As I stared at her sleeping, I could only think of all the good I've done as her Mother. And for a moment I remembered just why she was sent to me. After all, we are practically the same person. ;)
Then I plopped myself down next to her a grabbed a little nap.
After all, every mother needs a good nap.
 photo DSC_6195_zps2a2967a0.jpg

1 comment:

Glen and Kris Payne said...

The Jess mother I lived with was amazing - always doing something fun with those girls! They were definitely the focus (especially since Tyler was gone).