Thursday, January 23, 2014

I just want to go fishing...

Let's just pretend that I'm all caught up on blogging. I know I'm not- but let's just pretend. 

I vividly remember seeing people months even years behind on blogging and thinking to myself- what's the big deal? It doesn't take that long! haha! Oh my dear darling Jess Payne- I believe you are eating those words nowadays. 

Seriously ya'll, I just want to go fishing. Just me, the lake, my pole, and my riggly, wiggly worm. 
I have forgotten how much pregnancy and one little baby can change your whole world. Guys, I go to bed at 9pm! Just because that's normally when Luke falls asleep and if I don't go to bed I know I won't be able to work out in the morning and will likely be a wreck all the next day. Oh Motherhood. 

I can see it now. Me and no make-up. Me and my cut-off jeans. Me and the gators. I just want to go fishing. 
On another note, when I do get a chance to get something done, the kids are all happy, and it seems like the world is at peace, I almost always decide to cuddle my baby. I can't tell ya'll how much I love that little guy. His eyes are always so bright and pure. They pierce me right through to my Mommy heart. 

I can feel it now. Those sun-kissed cheeks and a cold drink in my hand. Just me and sounds of the lake. I just want to go fishing. 
I've been doing CrossFit everyday these days. I love CrossFit. It pushes me. It is my outlet. I love it. But since coming back after having a baby, I get easily frustrated with myself and where I'm at. I want to be the best. I want to be the strongest- the fastest. But then I come home and realize that it's okay that I'm where I'm at. I'll get there. For now, I have the best gift Heavenly Father could have ever given me. Three crazy beautiful children. 

I can tell you now- I'll finally go fishing. 
I'll wonder why it is that my drink is still full. Why I can't hear a baby giggle. Why no one is playing with my hair. Why no one is putting on my lip gloss. Why no one is scaring all the dadgum fish! I'll wonder why I'm having no fun at all. 
Oh Motherhood. 

Rachel, Maggie, and Luke. You've turned my world upside down. 
Ya'll wanna go fishing with me???


Glen and Kris Payne said...

Hahahahahaha- soooo true! Once you get used to the noise and chaos, it is hard to live without it!!

Anonymous said...

This makes me smile! :) I can totally relate to those feelings!! Haha, it's amazing how when you finally get a minute to yourself all you can think is how much you miss those little munchkins! :)